My old/new diet.....due to Bush Economics

[JETTYWOLF]

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for "Troutster", my new puppy.

I was at Wal-Mart and was waiting to check-out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had...an elephant?

So since I'm a charter fisherman and little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, but was starting the Purina Diet again. I told her I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital during Bush's first term, but had lost 40 pounds before I'd awakened in the intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her it was essentially a perfect diet and the way it works is to
load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and every time you feel hungry,you simply eat one or two. The food is nutritionally complete and I was going to try it again. I have to mention that practically everyone in the line was enthralled by now.

Simply Horrified, the woman asked me if I'd ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I'd stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's BACK SIDE and a car hit both of us.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard.

Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

Oh well there's always the grocery store around the corner.

Like sand thru the hours glass, these are the days of a fisherman's life. :roll: :roll: :roll:

[spoiled one]

That is some funny stuff, Dave! I actually ate a can of Alpo on a dare back in highschool. It really wasn't that bad, but a pound is an aweful lot! I got a tank of gas for the car so I guess it was worth it. I always wanted to serve those gaines burgers at a barbeque, but never did do it. Both my kids love to nibble on dog food and if I remember correctly so did I.

[IN2DEEP]

You know, I thought this pup looked familiar!!!


:D :D :D

[CarolMizer]

Ok Jetty,
Loved that joke when my friend sent it on the net, still love it but somehow would have to believe you would... :lol:

Scott, that is a masterpiece!!! You tooooo funny. I always could use a good laugh like that. :lol:

Dave, as far as the dog food goes, I had a friend in elementary school that DID keep milkbone treats in his pocket and packed them for lunch too. I stayed far from him after lunch in fear he would go on a doggy rampage and bite someone. The Gaines burgers smelled horendous, could not feed my dog those unless I pinched my nose. Ewwwww, BBQ'd???:P :oops:

[Ironwoodtuna]

OH SH*T! OBAMA in the dog!

[JETTYWOLF]

The story fit perfectly into today's life style.

Remember when the news used to talk about the elderly eating dog food because that's all they can afford?

Well thanks to our wonderful goverment, it's not only the elderly anymore.

Marty,

Here's one for ya....true or not????

CAN MUSLIMS BE GOOD AMERICANS?

This is very interesting and we all need to read it
from start to finish and send it on to anyone who will read
it. Maybe this is why our American Muslims are so quiet and
not speaking out about any atrocities. Can a good Muslim be
a good American? This question was forwarded to a friend
who worked in Saudi Arabia for 20 years. The following is
his reply:

Theologically - no. . . . Because his allegiance is
To Allah, The moon God of Arabia

Religiously - no. . . Because no other religion is
Accepted by His Allah except Islam (Quran, 2:256)(Koran)

Scripturally - no. . . Beca! use his allegiance is to
The five Pillars of Islam and the Quran.

Geographically - no . Because his allegiance is to
Mecca , to which he turns in prayer five times a day.

Socially - no. . . Because his allegiance to Islam
Forbids him to make friends with Christians or Jews .

Politically - no. . . Because he must submit to the
Mullahs (spiritual leaders), who teach annihilation of
Israel and destruction of America , the great Satan.

Domestically - no. . . Because he is instructed to
Marry four Women and beat and scourge his wife when she
Disobeys him (Quran 4:34)

Intellectually - no. . Because he cannot a! ccept t he
American Constitution since it is based on Biblical
Principles and he believes the Bible to be corrupt.

Philosophically - no. . . Because Islam, Muhammad,
And the Quran does not allow freedom of religion and
Expression. Democracy and Islam cannot co-exist. Every
Muslim government is either dictatorial or autocratic.

Spiritually - no. . . Because when we declare
'one nation under God,' the Christian's God is
Loving and kind, while Allah is NEVER referred to as
Heavenly father, nor is he ever called love in The
Quran's 99 excellent names.

Therefore, after much study and deliberation....

Perhaps we should be very suspicious of ALL MUSLIMS
In this country. - - - They obviously cannot be both
'good' Muslims and good Americans.

Call it what you wish it's still the truth. You
Had better believe it. The more who understand this, the
Better it will be for our country and our future. The
Religious war is bigger than we know or understand. .. ...

And Barack Hussein Obama, a Muslim, wants to be our
President? You have GOT to be kidding! Wake up America !

Obama even says if he wins the election, he will be
Sworn in on the Quran---not a Bible!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Footnote: He was sworn in on the Quran for his
Current office and he refuses to pledge allegiance to the
United States or put his hand over his heart when the National Ant! hem is played! The Muslims have said they will
Destroy us from within. Hello! Having a Muslim president
Would seem to fit the bill! Will you trust this man with
Our national secrets?

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
The only people we really need to fear are carreer politicains!!
And peter Chaney is the grand wizard.