Last Sunday my oldest son, John, had finished a two week horse sitting job during his school break over the Christmas holidays for some friends. He was on time getting home (which is highly unusual). Even more unusual was he had time to go by a local burger joint & visit with a few of his buddies before coming home. He was all smiles because his buddy, Fogerty, who works at the burger joint, had given him a free double meat cheese burger to take home.
Farmerjane and I were in our kitchen visiting and our youngest son, Wyatt, was watching TV in the living room. John went to join Wyatt and eat his burger. Out of know where John shouts out, “That SOB! I’m going to kill him!” Well, we were taken back by his comment and immediately went to investigate the reason for this outburst.
John was smiling while pulling a foreign object out from between the two meat patties. No one could believe what they saw. At first glance it appeared to be an unusually large piece of lettuce smothered in cheese. Unfortunately, it was not lettuce. John’s burger prize was in fact a condom. YUCK!
Everyone was laughing, including John. But I could tell revenge was in his eyes and he wanted it…..and he wanted it immediately. FJ and I were able to convince John to calm down and understand this is exactly what his prankster buddies would want….an immediate reaction. We came up with a rough plan to attempt to turn the table on his buddies.
Stage one – wait. Now initially John wasn’t convinced our plan would work but we asked him to be patient and he agreed. Ten minutes later, like clockwork, John’s cell phone rings. It was Sam. We would later learn Sam didn’t actually place the birth control device in the burger but knew about it and was actually the one to deliver the burger surprise to John. We listened to John’s side of the phone conversation which went something like this:
How was what?
Oh, I don’t know. I gave it to my Dad.
Yeah, he ate all of it – Why?
Oh no! You didn’t?
Heck no! You guys put it in there you tell him what you did!
John hangs up and tells us Sam laughed at first and said, “Dude, you do know there was a rubber in that burger?” Sam also told John he didn’t believe him as there was no way in hell I ate the whole burger.
Stage two – FJ called Sam’s mom, Leslie, and asked her if she knew what was going on. This was all news to Leslie. FJ asked if she would like to play along with our plan. Leslie readily agreed.
Stage three – Leslie gives the phone to her son Sam telling him FJ wants to speak with him. FJ asks what in the world did you guys do to that hamburger? Sam immediately rats out Forgerty saying it was his idea, he did it…….FJ interrupts Sam and begins to lay into him with both barrels.
“Well isn’t this just great! Thanks a lot guys! I’m on my way to the hospital with John’s dad right now. He is in severe pain! This is just how I wanted to spend my evening, not to mention the money I’ll have to spend for the emergency room visit! The next time I see either one of you guys I’m kickin’ your BACK SIDE!” FJ then hangs up the phone. It was all John, Wyatt, and I could do to keep from laughing out loud while FJ was chewing on Sam’s butt. We literally had tears in our eyes.
Within minutes, John’s cell phone rings – its Sam. John answers & quickly said, “I can’t talk right now. My mom is taking my dad to the emergency room.” We asked John what Sam had to say. John said he knew I was going to the hospital and was sorry.
John’s cell rings again. This time its Fogerty and he’s not convinced at this point that all this is happening. John assures him it is and hangs up.
Unbeknownst to us, Sam is now talking with Fogerty. Sam is scared to death and convinces Fogerty this is really happening. Sam even tells him how mad I will probably be and that I could sue the burger joint and even Fogerty himself. Evidently, Fogerty is starting to worry.
Five minutes later our house phone rings. It’s Leslie. She is laughing her tail off stating that Sam and Fogerty are crapping bricks the size of footballs right now. She tells FJ Sam will be calling in a few minutes to apologize for all the trouble.
Stage four - Within a couple of minutes Sam is on FJ’s cell phone. FJ answers the cell and turns on the speaker phone option. Sam sounds like he’s going to cry at any moment. He’s profusely apologizing for the prank……FJ sighs and then tells Sam, “Not to worry, you’ve been pranked.” Sam hesitates and said, “What?” FJ laughingly repeated, “You’ve been pranked!” Well evidently Sam was a little embarrassed (probably because he heard all of us laughing) because he immediately hung up on FJ. Oh what I would have given to see his face.
OK, Sam is off the hook, but not Fogerty. While FJ had Sam on the phone, John was on his cell with his girlfriend, Crystal. She had called to try to figure out what the heck Fogerty was texting her about me being in the hospital. John brought her up to speed about the prank. John gave me his phone to speak with Crystal. She was laughing and then said she just got another text from Fogerty. He was hoping this was just a joke.
Stage five - I told Crystal to text him back saying they are currently pumping out my stomach. She complies. Within seconds she receives another text from Fogerty stating, “OMG, OMG! I’m so screwed! Lord let him be OK!” Fogerty is finally convinced.
A few minutes pass and John’s cell phone goes off for the last time, it’s Fogerty. Fogerty is extremely upset, almost to the point of tears, he’s apologizing for all the mess…….John interrupts him and said, “Gotcha!”……………..Fogerty says, “You SOB! I’m going to kill you!”
It was a very entertaining evening. I can’t remember when I laughed so much and so hard. I think my boys learned a lesson in patience that night. Oh, and I think Sam and Fogerty learned something too. Never pull a prank on John – at least while his parents are helping to plot the revenge.
Wayne
Thanks for sharing 
